Three Things I have Learned from Sophia
May 3, 2009
Three years ago, on April 30, 2006, I heard an excited scream as I walked into our house after church. Rachael was checking our phone messages, and heard that the birthmother with whom we were matched had gone into early labor and that our little girl had been born at Tucson Medical Center. Since then, Rachael and I have learned tons from our little princess, and in honor of Sophia’s third birthday I thought I would share three of them:
1. The words, “I love you, daddy” melt a father’s heart, even if they are not fully understood.
My fellow FOP (Fathers of Princesses) can attest that few things in the universe touch our emotional depths like the words, “I love you, daddy,” especially if they come with a kiss. Accompanying this delight is the awareness that Sophia does not fully understand what she is saying. She does not know who daddy is in all of his weakness. She does not know what love is in all of its breadth and implications. But that does not matter; her understanding will grow into her heart’s expression.
This gives me comfort to know that when I cry out to God, “I love you, O LORD!” (Psalm 18:1) that my heart’s expression can bless God’s Father heart even if my understanding of him is at toddler level. Certainly he wants me to grow in my understanding of him, but what he wants the most-and commands first-is a heart that loves and trusts him.
2. The things I think are important may not be very important in the grand scheme of things.
Sophia is in a phase where she is deeply concerned about things being a certain way. The prime example is that, before we come downstairs from a nap or getting the boys up, all the upstairs doors must be closed. The look of purpose and seriousness on Sophia’s face when she is closing the doors is priceless and serves as a fascinating mirror of our adult priorities. What does my small mind deem so terribly important that I will throw an adult tantrum if I don’t get it? Is getting cut off in traffic really that different than being told, “We don’t have time to close all the doors right now”?
3. I am God’s child who still sins.
Sophia is my little princess. And Sophia sins. While much of our interaction with her is sweetened by snuggles, kisses, endearing words, and laughter, there are also continuous reminders that she has a fallen nature that often places her own desires above love for her brothers or obedience to her parents. Yet we do not define Sophia by her sin but by the fact that she is our beloved daughter.
While the parallel is not precise, since Rachael and I cannot redeem Sophia, there is a broad similarity in my relationship with God. I am God’s beloved child because I place all my trust in God’s eternally beloved Child, Jesus. This is my identity. Yet I still sin and do things that hurt others and buck God’s authority. As we do with Sophia, God disciplines me and calls me to ask for forgiveness. Yet this is all within the context of being his beloved child; indeed, that relationship defines why I want to grow in holiness: because it means experiencing more of my Father’s love.
I pray that you will join me in learning from our little ones more about our relationship with our Father in heaven.
Pastor Chris