Delivering Grace to the World of Domestic Violence
May 31, 2009
“Do you think I hit my wife?”
“Yes.”
“I have never hit my wife. Why would I ever do that?”
“Because she talks mean to you…because she doesn’t cook your food right.”
This was the conversation taking place in my van on Saturday as I drove some of the neighborhood children to and from a local museum. It all started when I asked these 4-12 year olds what their favorite music was. The name they repeated was Chris Brown, the pop singer who in June will stand trial for allegedly punching, biting, and choking his then girlfriend, pop singer Rhianna.
“But how could you like someone who beats his girlfriend?” I asked. “Because it’s cool” was the reply. “Would you think it was cool if somebody beat you?” “Yes!” the pre-teen girls answered in unison. “Don’t you think it would hurt?” “No,” they replied.
After telling them what I would do if I ever heard about a young man hitting them, I proceeded with the question about my relationship with Rachael. The fact that they assumed the pastor of the church beats his wife-for messing up dinner, no less-left me incredulous and heart torn. There are enough effects of poverty to grieve already, as the children who come consistently to our church are often sleep-deprived, unattended, and undernourished. But the relational poverty they experience-living in homes and attending schools where all types of abuse are normative-shows us how much work is ahead of us in calling our neighbors to be disciples of Jesus.
What can we do? What is our response to the relational poverty these children experience? That is the million dollar question which requires more than a simple article. But as this conversation with our precious neighborhood girls has churned through my heart over and over since Saturday, there are two things I know for certain: first, we must have healthy, safe, gracious, nourishing, gospel-centered individuals and families in our church. And second, we must find ways to include these children into our families and communities of friendship.
This was reinforced to me on Tuesday when I attended a “Faith-based Summit” sponsored by the City of Phoenix. The keynote speaker expounded Jesus’ interaction with the poor in Luke 4-5 and stated, “The poor don’t need another program-they need relationship.” This must drive the way we approach our neighborhood. The answer to the physical, relational, and spiritual poverty of our neighbors is gospel-drenched individuals and families who will commit to being in the lives of these children. This will likely take place through programs like our current English language class, but the aim is long-term investment into their lives that will pave the way for Christ’s transforming power.
So what can we do right now? We can hold fast to the gospel. We can come to grips with our own poverty and grapple with “the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich” (2 Corinthians 8:9). And as this gospel shapes us into grace-rich individuals and families, we can pray as a church, “God, how would you have our families and communities of friendship share your grace with the families in our neighborhood?” I expect God will give us some big answers to that question.
Please pray for our neighborhood, especially the children,
Pastor Chris